It’s a small world was an expression that took on a whole new meaning. The world was shrinking. Shrinking under the weight of overpopulation and the resource consumption required to sustain it. Although it was a problem shared by every country, it was something to finally unite the world.
It was this collective concern that created the Council of Unified Legislation & Law. Subtlety was not their strong point. You can guess from their acronym what their plan of action was going to be. The main issue they had was identifying what criteria should be used to define those surplus to requirements. To be fair to them, death wasn’t the final nail in the coffin. You could sign up to be a donor and serve the world after you died, but then that’s another story.
The world had immersed themselves in the Internet. Everyone and everything had some kind of interface to the World Wide Web. Everyone used some form of social networking platform. It was this that gave the Council their idea. They didn’t want to kill off people who would be a ‘benefit’ to the world, they only wanted to kill the ‘wasters’. What better way to judge someone’s worth than analysing their social media stats? In other words the more recommends, likes, followers, retweets, name tagging et cetera that you accumulate, the greater chance you have of staying in this world.
The Council would set the target social media score for the week. You could use as many platforms as you liked. Some platforms were more difficult to get accolades on, so those platforms would provide you with higher scores. If you failed to meet your weekly target score, you’d get a warning. Two consecutive warnings would result in an execution shown live on YouTube. The irony of it is, your name would be tagged on the video adding to your weekly score as would any thumbs up for the video. There’s a lot of now popular dead people finally making their quotas.
It didn’t take long for some writers on Medium to notice this trend. Listicles of the best YouTube deaths were being written. Some of the more creative writers decided to write fictional interviews with the deceased. All of these writings were linked to the dearly departed’s accounts, hoping for some residual recommends. It wasn’t long before all these stories dominated the Editors’ Picks.
eBay, Amazon and a few other big name brands changed their sites to accept a new form of currency to trade social media stats. The currency’s name was Kudos. Yep, no imagination brain cells were damaged in coming up with that gem. Many currency exchange sites were altered to help you determine what stats you could buy for the social media platform of your choice. Kudos was becoming THE world currency. Company public shares were soon replaced with company public Kudos. I lost all my Kudos backing Microsoft Zune.
This brings me nicely to the true purpose of this yarn. I wish I could say this little piece of writing was based on some selfless need to educate the masses. Truth be told, I’m on my first warning. Desperate times call for desperate measures so here I am, cap in hand; you’re in charge of my fate. To save this simple soul from a date on YouTube, give a little a love to the heart below.